It stung and burned a little. I even got mad. I got a call last night from our Doctor. Kamryn has her blood drawn every 6-8 weeks due to concerns related to her extra chromosome. There are several "things" we are monitoring and her Thyroid was one of them.
She now officially has Thyroid disease. Her numbers have been increasing for about 5 months, so it was not a huge surprise. This is really not a big deal either. She will take medication to stabilize it and she will be fine. It's the bigger part that makes me MAD! That she now has something on that "list!"
There is a list of medical concerns when you have a child with Down syndrome. They so graciously gave me the list verbally on day 2 of her life. I don't remember most of it, except the big ones like - she is more likely to get cancer.
I am also mad because my other girls don't have a list. I am GRATEFUL they don't, but I don't want Kamryn to have a list either. I don't want her to get sick, teased, treated different, just as I don't want that for any of my daughters. The perfect life, that is what I wanted.....
Shortly after Kamryn was born, and I was still lying on the ground from the emotional trauma, someone asked me if I thought I was going to have a perfect life. Well, the question hurt, because you know what? I did.
All those things I read about: Husbands dying, children getting sick, losing your house to a fire, becoming injured in a car accident...I never thought those things would happen to me or my family.
Naive, I know.
During the first year of Kamryn's life I became fearful of everything happening. It was like someone had thrown cold water on my face and I realized---WOW, things do happen and they can happen to me!
The fear is long gone. I realized and accepted that life happens and it is not always what you plan, wish for or even want. But it happens. And most important in life, than what happens, is how you deal with and live it.
So, I was mad last night. For about 15 minutes. I let myself be mad, angry and a little sad. Because, well, Kamryn does have Down syndrome and that may mean we will have to deal with some of those not so pretty things in life. I won't wait for those things to happen though. I am going to enjoy right now, today.
I am going to embrace my life and hold on tight to it, because it is a beautiful life and I love it. And we had a beautiful day today and I expect to have a beautiful day tomorrow too!