this moment for life, for life, cause in this moment I just feel so alive"...I love that chorus in the song by Nicki Minaj. If I knew how to play music on my blog you would have heard that song as soon as you opened this up.
One day, when I have time (ha ha), I'll figure out how to play music on my blog. If I was playing music tonight, here is a sample of my play list (just to name a few):
Kanye West-All of the Lights
Mary J Blige-Just Fine
U2-It's a Beautiful Day
Cold Play-Viva La Vida
The Temper Trap-Sweet Disposition
Moments in Life.
I wrote this in a blog post from APRIL 3, 2010 (If I could link to that post I would, but I haven't learned how to link to posts yet)...I promised myself if I was going to blog, I was going to be honest and real. We had a great day yesterday afternoon. The girls made cut-out sugar cookies and dyed Easter eggs. Then my mom came up to stay with them while Diondray and I went Easter shopping and out for a late dinner. It was a great day. As Diondray and I were getting into bed I began to cry. It was a soft cry and he only heard because my nose started to run and I began to sniff. He asked me what was wrong and I said "at this moment I feel sad." Then he asked me what I was thinking about and I said "don't say she will walk and next year she will be walking....because I know that. I just never thought that I would be taking our 20-month old to an Easter egg hunt tomorrow and she wouldn't be walking or running to collect eggs."
It's a moment that comes from out of the blue. I feel this sadness that I don't want to feel. But it is real. I haven't had a moment like that in awhile, a moment when I actually cried. He put his hand on mine and said, "it's OK to be sad." I laid there for awhile before falling a sleep.
I titled that post: a moment of sadness
Moments in life, some are tiny and affect us for a few seconds. Some are enormous and can alter the way we think, feel and live. I had a life altering moment when I received Kamryn's diagnosis. It was a moment, that change my life forever. It changed my life. Who I was. What I believed. It was an up close and personal realization that life is uncontrollable, unpredictable and all about choice.
This year, Kamryn was walking and hop-skipping (she has made that move up) as she collected eggs. (Which, honestly she collected about two eggs and was happy and done.) As I watched the girls collect eggs, smiling and running with that carefree child-like bounce to them--I paused and took in the moment, which is something I try to do often. I think we get so caught up in life, we forget to enjoy, soak-up and feel the moments that exist through out the day, some so tiny you could miss. I felt the happiness and I remembered the moment I had last year, the moment of sadness. And because of what I experienced last year, this moment was twice as sweet.
Moments make up our lives. The tiny moments, BIG MOMENTS, happy, sad, exciting, horrible, wonderful, amazing moments add up to the life we are living. My life is full of wonderful moments. I have also experienced a few not so wonderful moments, and I soak them up too...because all moments can lead to something beautiful.
Easter Egg Hunt 2011