Holding onto summer....

I can't believe I'm sitting here, typing.  I have been here several times this summer, in my head. Mentally writing rough drafts while I lay in bed or walk on the treadmill.  Sometimes they were very emotional, thought out, serious subjects and other times I was just going over the day and remembering the small things that made it so great.  My last post was in June, right after the Buddy Walk. That event has become the kick off to our summer. And now we are at the end and I have no posts in between. This summer I had two projects on the to do list: Clean out the garage and play room. Neither got accomplished. But we have had tons of fun! And the girls are all very tan! 

I have wanted to write about the days at the beach (watching all my girls in the water, unafraid of the huge ocean and screaming with joy as the waves crashed into them), Brynn's love of gymnastic camp (even before the Olympics came on. Then, we got to witness Gabby Douglas win GOLD and now she wants to be an Olympian :), the triathlon all three older girls completed (Brynn taking her time across the pool, waving and smiling as we cheered), our annual summer trip to Palm Springs (where we met up with awesome friends), the weekend in Seattle (to share in the joy of my BFF finding love!),  the four weeks of life guard camp Jaden and Naomi did, Kamryn's summer school experience-which included her riding the bus for the first time! This last one was an emotional, long, thought-out decision. None of my babies have EVER ridden a bus to school. When this first took place, it was something to write about. But tonight, those emotions and feelings are gone and I just love the picture of her walking (or strutting to the bus). If I had a "really good" camera, you would see her in the window smiling and waving to me. She loved the bus, it was her mom who was not fond of the idea! :)

The days have been without routine and structure.  Today, we did not get dressed and tonight we played basket ball in the driveway until 8:45. At 9:00 they were eating dinner. (I must confess, dinner was cereal and toast.) Who cooks at 9:00 at night?

Oh summer, I am going to miss you! But we know you will be back next year!

 

Overwhelmed and it feels so good!

Overwhelmed.  That is how I felt.  Overwhelmed with Joy.  Saturday we participated in our THIRD annual Buddy Walk.  This is a national event that raises awareness about Down syndrome.  In our area it is a day in the park, with a "ceramony" walk at the end of the day. 

I remember back in June of 2010, Kamryn was 18 months old and I had heard our county was going to hold their first annual Buddy Walk.  I had just started to accept her diagnosis and feel comfortable with it (yes, at 18 months)! However, I wasn't sure I was that comfortable...to  "celebrate" with groups of people.  I was anxious and wasn't confident that I wouldn't break down.  In my circle of family and friends, I was feeling good.  My bubble felt safe, but to venture out with the world.  That felt slightly daunting.  
 
We went the first year in 2010. I emailed a few friends and made some T shirts.  I wasn't sure how I would react, feel or if I would be able to hold myself together. The morning of  I wanted Diondray to drive the highway in the opposite direction. BUT, we went and I was overwhelmed.  About 35 of our friends and family came and I was overwhelmed, with joy.


This year was no exception! We have a KREW of family and friends who have decided it is just as important to them, as it is to us, to advocate and spreed awareness about Down syndrome.  Several frineds and family could not make it this year, but new ones did!  And once again, I found myself overwhelmed with joy.  The tears that moistened my eyes on Saturday were tears of JOY.
 

Kamryn's KREW, you are ROCK STARS!  We feel like the luckiest family in the world to have and be loved by the most amazing people!

I'm simply overwhelmed.  MY CUP RUNNETH OVER!

Bitter SWEET

I am getting wiser.  Often the term older and wiser go hand and hand.  Funny, I don't feel older. I haven't had a birthday recently.  But I defiantly feel wiser.  I feel like I have been through some challenging times and many WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, EXCITING, AMAZING times and with all the experiences I have accumulated in life I have become wiser. It feels good.  It's refreshing to let go of fear and see challenges as way to become stronger and grow into something better. It feels good to enjoy the day and what ever comes along with it. 

Over the past few months we have had some obstacles, lots of fun, smiles and even a few tears.  Of course I regret not sitting down and writing about our moments or at least posting a picture so the memory would be a little brighter for me.  There have been some bitter moments, some SWEET moments, but ironceilly most of them have been bitter-SWEET. 

Today was bitter SWEET. Brynn graduated from kindergarten! I noticed several moms dabbing their eyes as they filled with tears.  I felt like maybe I should get teary too and when the kids sang and signed What a Wonderful World, by Louie Armstrong I got close.  But the bitter was tiny compared to how sweet it felt.

It does drive me CRAZY how fast these girls are growing. The other day the radio station in the car suddenly changed and simultaneously Jaden said, "Do we have to listen to your station?" (Mind you, she had already changed it!)
I looked at her and (intended to respond "Yes, this is my car, I'm driving, so don't change the station!") I looked at her and said, "Shouldn't you be in a car seat in the back of the car? Why are you in the passenger seat next to me?"  :) It was funny, because seriously, when did she get old enough to sit in the front? Some where along the way she did.

I am wise enough to know that the day will end and you should try your best to be a part of it, enjoy it and soak it up.

I now have a First grader, Third grader, Sixth grader and a preschooler!  I don't even know how it's possible for me to have four kids!  I'm only 26!  OK, that last sentence is completely false, but there I times I feel that way! :)

wanting to write

There is so much I want to write about. We have made some changes with Kamryn's preschool and I want to share my feelings, emotions and the process of it all. However, once again, I don't have time tonight.

What brought me to my blog, for a quick second, was a conversation I just had with Jaden. She made me smile. No, she had me cracking up and I thought to myself, I have got to write that down.

My girls often share their opinion, provide me insight or make comments that have me pause and think to myself: I have got to write that down. However, these conversations usually occur when I am driving, in the middle of cooking dinner or in the shower and I don't have pen and paper handy. I'll say to myself, "make a mental note of this and write it down later." But when the moment comes and I can write it down, I can't remember exactly how it was said. And then it's not as funny. (or sincere, honest, whatever the comment or conversation maybe).

Jaden has a very uncomfortable looking stye in the corner of her eye. I kept her home from school today because it was bugging her so much. After I tucked her into bed, said her prayers, kissed her goodnight and was heading out her bedroom door...

"Mom, I am not going to be able to sleep, my eye is bothering me."

I turned, walked back over to her and touched her head (she was lying on her side) I said, "Lay on your back, close your eyes, and pretend like you are floating on a cloud."

"Mom, (in a tone that makes her sound like she is way smarter than me) that would mean that I am falling through the sky. Don't you know a cloud is like a puff of air? It would not hold me. If I laid on a cloud I would plummet to my death..."

I started to laugh, which interrupted her dissertation, which I am sure would have included a horrible, detailed landing....

laughing, "Jaden, you crack me up, you need to try and get some sleep. Good night, I love you."

As I was heading down the stairs she yelled out, "Mom, I am still falling!"

All I can do is smile.

And I wanted to take a minute to get this one down. :)


We had a beautiful Easter...
Easter Day 2012: