All the girls had so much fun at the Easter egg hunt today. And I didn't feel a hint of sadness. Even better, I read Monica's post tonight at http://www.monicacrumley.blogspot.com/ and I saw her little guy running to collect eggs! It made me smile! Look at her face....I have so many reasons to smile!
Saturday, April 3, 2010
a moment of sadness
I did not want this to be my 2nd post. I thought about just skipping it altogether. However, I promised myself if I was going to blog, I was going to be honest and real. We had a great day yesterday afternoon. The girls made cut-out sugar cookies and dyed Easter eggs. Then my mom came up to stay with them while Diondray and I went Easter shopping and out for a late dinner. It was a great day. As Diondray and I were getting into bed I began to cry. It was a soft cry and he only heard because my nose started to run and I began to sniff. He asked me what was wrong and I said "at this moment I feel sad." Then he asked me what I was thinking about and I said "don't say she will walk and next year she will be walking....because I know that. I just never thought that I would be taking our 20-month old to an Easter egg hunt tomorrow and she wouldn't be walking or running to collect eggs." (Kamryn can pull to stand and cruise. She has even taken two steps, but she isn't walking). It's a moment that comes from out of the blue. I feel this sadness that I don't want to feel. But it is real. I haven't had a moment like that in awhile, a moment when I actually cried. He put his hand on mine and said, "it's ok to be sad." I laid there for awhile before falling a sleep.